So far, you've survived all your worst days. All those hard moments made you stronger, but it takes more than just strength to succeed. To succeed, your wins have to outnumber your losses, which means you're going to have to conquer rejection and never give up. But how do you do that?
On today's episode, we are joined by Tisha Marie Pelletier. She's the President of Tisha Marie Enterprises, a mentor, a relationship builder, an author, a podcaster, and an inspirational speaker. She does it all!
Together, Tisha and Steven share some of their personal stories and walk through how you can conquer rejection by betting on yourself even when the odds seem stacked against you.
Ignition Point is all about making a positive impact, so please share the show with someone you think it may help. We designed this weekly podcast for ambitious Young Professionals and aspiring Leaders who want to stay motivated and keep moving forward. Throughout Season 1, we will be connecting fresh perspectives with practical strategies to help listeners feel empowered all week long. You can help us improve by joining our LinkedIn and Twitter Community by using #IgnitionPoint, submitting a review on Apple Podcasts, or emailing feedback to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Welcome to Ignition Point – the show that’s here to help you take the leap, conquer your week, and achieve your goals. If you’re looking to amplify your mindset with a fresh perspective and spark your momentum – you’re in the right place.
Hey! What’s going on? I’m Steven Miller. Thanks for joining me for another Ignition Point – the show where we cover an influential speech or feature a Guest Keynote that’ll get you fired up and ready to take on another winning week.
Lately, I’ve been having a lot of conversations about the way we define success. There’s a handful of different ways people look at it. Some say it’s getting rich; others say it’s moving up in the world. A fair few say it’s finding happiness, but if one thing’s clear, success isn’t what most people say or think it is.
Success is when your wins outnumber your losses. It’s overcoming rejection to then show the persistence required to achieve your goals. Which raises the question, how do you overcome rejection?
Well, we’re going to get to the bottom of that with the help of someone who’s conquered it time after time.
Today, I’m joined by Tisha Marie Pelletier. Tisha took her entrepreneurial leap in 2004, and she’s since run four different businesses, planned hundreds of events and facilitated over 300 masterminds. Now – as the President of Tisha Marie Enterprises – she’s in the business of empowering entrepreneurs.
As a mentor, she works with students at the ASU Innovation & Entrepreneurship Department and she runs the Startup Entrepreneur Academy – an online course for up-and-coming entrepreneurs which incorporates one-on-one mentoring sessions to hold them accountable.
As a relationship builder, she’s the host of Social Connect - a quarterly Business Happy Hour which she designed to help people build more meaningful relationships without the excessive use of business cards or pitching sales.
When she’s not making connections or mentoring, Tisha’s either working on her next book, recording episodes of her Success Over Struggle Podcast, or she’s onstage as an inspirational speaker.
So, let’s get after it! Here to share her story and to help you conquer rejection, this is Tisha Marie Pelletier.
THE WEEKLY MONOLOGUE – Tisha Marie Pelletier
So, people often ask me what the acronym K.B.C. stands for, and how it came to be. And there's a great story behind this.
How do you overcome your fears, the rejection; everything that comes with being an entrepreneur, being in business, just being human. How do you do that? And I feel that this one hashtag that I created is what helps me get through some of those difficult times where I feel like the world is against me.
So, what is #KBC? What does it stand for? Well, for me, it stands for: Get some Killer. Badass. Confidence.
There's a great story I like to share, when I had a gentleman pretty much tell me that I would never get there. And I like to share this story because it signifies what a lot of us go through. We have a dream, we have a desire, we want this to work so badly or we're going after something that we want, and someone crushes that dream.
I love the startup community, and I hadn't ever been involved until I saw that there was a Phoenix Startup Week. And a lot of people had suggested, "Tisha, you should apply for this." And I said, "you know what? I am."
So, I put in my application and I got bumped to the second round, which is great news. You know when you make that first cut, you're super excited, you're ready to go. And a friend of mine introduced me through a mutual connection to a prominent gentleman in the Startup Week community. And in the email, I was like, "this is it. I can ask him all the questions I want. I can get his opinion; I can get his feedback. He could be a great resource for me!"
And when I told him what I was going to talk about, which was the 10 Essentials Every Startup Needed to Crush It in Their Business, I got this response: that I wasn't an entrepreneur. That I was just a consultant. that I had no experience and no business talking about those 10 essentials. That it was a topic that wouldn't be popular with the crowd.
The worst part was that he cc'd my friend on this email. And the both of us - shocked with awe - couldn't believe it. I had never met this individual in my life and yet here in this one occurrence, this one interaction, he had already made me feel like the smallest individual.
You wonder how you bounce back from that, and at the time I sat there, and I really grappled with this idea of, "should I even go for it?" Yes, I made it past the first cut, but maybe he knew something that I didn't. Because he was such a prominent figure in this organization, maybe he had all the answers.
But then I sat there for a moment and I said, “I could let this one gentleman tell me what I can't do, or I could prove it to myself and do it anyway.” And that is that killer, badass confidence. Now, I could just say confidence, but I think killer badass just sound so, well, you know, badass.
One person's opinion doesn't matter. The world's opinion of you doesn't matter. It's: what do you believe in yourself? How confident are you in your abilities? Are you willing to bet on you when you feel like those odds are stacked against you?
And then I waited. And I waited. And then I got the news, that I had made it.
I had actually made it onto the news just beforehand when I was releasing my book, What Are The Odds?: A mom shares her good, bad, and what the f*ck moments in life & business, and what shocked me was when I went back to Phoenix Startup Week, I said, "you know what? They would really, really like for me to bring someone from your organization on TV with me." I didn't know who they would choose, but then they told me to bring the gentleman who put me down.
And that was one of those sweet little revenge moments of: You know what? Have him join me. Have him sit next to me on this. On this TV show.
Well, when he found out it was me… he didn't show up. He actually declined the offer, and I met Mike Jones instead. And Mike Jones and I have become really good friends and he happens to be the co-director of Phoenix Startup Week now.
So, what is this story? So, when I got there, I was still under the impression that nobody would show up. Yes, I had made it. Yes, I had gotten to Phoenix Startup Week, and I was able to deliver this great speech...
That day, I walked in to standing room only. And it was the best experience. The best feeling. Because even when I thought that, "hey, nobody's going to show up for this," everybody did. And it was such an incredible feeling of empowerment, of feeling confident, and knowing that even against all those odds, even with the one person that was trying to tear me down; I still had the confidence to get back up, and do it anyway.
So, what does killer badass confidence mean to you? It means that you understand that you have no limitations except for the limitations you place on yourself. It means that there are so many boundless opportunities out there, but if you want to go for it, you've really got to go for it.
You can't make excuses. You can't hide behind a mask. You can't let other people tear your dreams and desires down. You’ve just got to go for it.
So, when you think of K.B.C., what are some of those things that you think of? How do you use something like this to overcome those fears? Those rejections?
When I gave this talk at Phoenix Startup Week, K.B.C. was the last thing that I shared as one of my Top 10 Essentials. I went through everything, like integrity, and why, and at the very end, I held up a sign that said, "get some #KBC.”
And at the beginning of this talk I had asked the audience, "what do you think that stands for? Think about it. What do you think? Get in my head! What does that stand for?"
Without telling them the context of the story, it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. I had people asking me if it stood for "Korean Barbecue Chicken." Things like that - made me laugh - and I was like, "Nope! Not even close, but here we go. This is the reason why I have this in my talk, because if you do not have this, if you do not have this character trait, if you do not have this one thing in your life and in your business, you will absolutely let so many opportunities pass you by."
Killer Badass Confidence. You need that in everything that you do. No matter if you're a business owner, no matter if you're a student, you need to exude that confidence every time you walk in the room. Bring your A-Game when you do it, and you will start to see your confidence rise.
STRATEGY FOR SUCCESS
Everyone has a rejection story. You might have been rejected by someone you wanted to date. Maybe you were rejected from the university you wanted to attend, or you didn’t get hired by a business you were keen to work for.
That feeling comes with so much weight and depending on your mental toughness, you could find yourself feeling a wide range of emotions in the aftermath.
Facing rejection is no small task, and Tisha’s story is a great example of why you can’t view rejection as a point of failure. Changing that point of view will test you, but you need to learn how to conquer rejection if you want to keep moving forward. That starts with beating the mental side of rejection.
Think about the last time something didn’t go your way. How did it feel? If you don’t deal with disappointment like this frequently, it might have felt like the end of the world. You might have even dug yourself into a hole of self-doubt, uncertainty or depression. That is the most common feeling associated with getting turned down, told no, or not being someone’s first choice.
It’s from this point that you have two choices. Option one, hold on to the shovel and keep digging into that hole. Or option two, put the shovel down and stop digging. Don’t take option one. Be decisive and drop the shovel. When you know that this hole is where you could end up, you’ve got to pull up your bootstraps. Don’t get down on yourself.
It’s like falling flat on your face in front of all the people you respect. It hurts your ego and… well… your face, but you need to bounce back up to prove you’re okay and that you can shake anything off. But if you still feel like you can’t get out of that mental funk, lean on your tribe. Look for the people closest to you who can give you a hand up to rebound out of self-doubt.
Experiencing rejection teaches you that very few rejections are complete, world-shattering losses, and that most are actually quite temporary. Rejection needs to be the point where you stop to reevaluate where you went wrong and how you can improve. These are opportunities for learning, not regret; which is why the next thing you should do is go get some good feedback.
Good feedback allows you to pivot. Even if someone turns you down, you need to find a way to get it right the next time. That said, you can’t just trust all feedback blindly. You need to be sure that you seek feedback from the right people and ask insightful questions that you can validate.
For example, let’s say you weren’t selected for a position on the organizing committee of a big community event. You could always try to reach out to the person in charge of the event, but they may not be in charge of selecting applicants. They probably have a set of directors who narrow the field. If you want to learn how you could have stood a better chance, you need to identify those decision makers. See if you know someone in the organization or if you have a mutual connection who may be willing to make an introduction.
Once you know who you should be speaking with, you can’t just get in their face or send them an email with a subject line that reads, “Hey, What the Hell?”
To get to the root of why you didn’t make the cut – and represent yourself tactfully – you want to ask about specific sections of your application or how your experience differed from the applicants they chose. This allows the decision maker to reference the qualifications of the people they selected to provide a comparison you can learn from and act on. So, before you go after feedback, vet your questions and know who you’re asking.
My final piece of advice is to believe in yourself and stay relentless, because even in the face of the harshest rejections, you can’t quit if you really want something. You have to go all in with KBC to do whatever it takes. Keep in mind, it only takes one win to start building momentum.
If you’re really fired up about what you’re doing, you have to follow Tisha’s lead. One of her big bucket list items is to be invited to deliver a TED Talk of her own. She’s applied to a number of TEDx Events nationwide, and has even Emcee’d a TEDx. Even though that wasn’t the role she really wanted, she took the opportunity in stride and plans to continue to audition until she reaches that stage.
Over coffee a little while back, Tisha told me about how she’s been fighting so hard to live that dream. She believes that if you put your mind to something and be persistent, that the world will take notice. And as it happens – just before that meeting – Tisha noticed one organization checking out her profile on LinkedIn. That organization was TEDx San Francisco.
Now that doesn’t mean that she’s checked it off the list or even considers herself halfway there, but it’s a sign that she’s making moves in the right direction. It goes to show that if you keep moving forward, all of your hard work will eventually pay off.
When you look back at your life, honor the fact that you’ve survived all your worst days. All of those hard moments made you stronger, but it takes more than just strength to succeed. Your wins have to outnumber your losses. You have to conquer rejection.
The next time you’re dealt a rejection, see it as a learning opportunity, gather some insightful feedback that you can make improvements from, and conquer it by demonstrating the killer, badass confidence required to never give up on your goals.
Wherever you are in your life and your career, do whatever it takes to prepare yourself for your next opportunity. When you walk in ready, you’ll be more confident, and you can make the most of every chance you get.
I’d like to thank Tisha Marie Pelletier for coming on the show today. Tisha’s next Social Connect Business Happy Hour is coming up July 30th, so if you want to create more meaningful connections with Phoenix Business Professionals and get inspired by some amazing stories shared by the Success Over Struggle Panel, get your ticket today! For more information, visit SocialConnectPHX.com.
To learn more about working with Tisha, you can visit TishaMarieEnterprises.com. Links to her website, book, podcast, the Social Connect Business Happy Hour and more can be found in this episode’s show notes at decisiveleap.com/ignitionpoint.
Ignition Point is all about making a positive impact, so please share the show with someone you think it would help. Your feedback helps Ignition Point to keep moving forward, so send me an email to email@example.com or write a review for the show on Apple Podcasts to let me know what you think.
What you do proves what you believe, so always do your best.
Stay motivated and keep moving forward. If you put in the hard work right now – one day – you could be the one motivating the world with your story.
I’ll look forward to speaking with you next time, on another Ignition Point.
Now get on out there and win the week!